What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Yes sir it is.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Hey there anyone awake at this time myself an bubble butt wife with her big ass tits is extremely Horny come join us on a private video call an watch us get kinky an naughty😋😋😋😋

After a few moments he returns.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard pretending to be asleep?

HELLO

Sure no problem officer.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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